
Ground Zero at dawn on September 11, 2011. This loses a lot of punch at such a small size. If somebody knows how to post this at a much larger size, let me know.
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I’ve spent the past four days working very long days covering the lead up to, and the anniversary of, September 11, 2001. The assignments demanded I reflect on that day, study what it means to be an American, and how our nation has changed in the past decade. I can say with 100% certainty that my head is in a very heavy daze. It’s a lot to try and process, and I’m not sure I’ll be able to convey all that’s been running through my head.
If I’m allowed one precursor, it is this: I was 14-years-old, living in Eugene, OR, on 9-11. I was a paper boy and a freshmen in high school. I didn’t know anyone even remotely associated with the attacks. I didn’t know what the twin towers were (other than tall towers), or their prominence in New York and around the globe. Much of my understanding of these events – my understanding beyond the immediate facts – my visceral understanding, my conviction as an American – has come in a rush over the past 96 hours, and in doing so, left me spinning. And In many ways, considering I was in no way directly effected by the immediate attacks of that day, I feel that I don’t have the right to write about, or speculate about that September day – almost as if I don’t have validation to do so. However, as an American – a person who has been effected by that day (as we all have, globally), and as a member of the news-media (where it is my profession to study and relay the events surrounding the events), I feel like I am allowed the think out about the past decade out loud. In doing so, I hope to write opening an honestly, from my perspective. If you choose to read this, bear with me- I don’t mean to offend anyone if I do.
Also, a quick note: All images are © 2011, Getty Images, except for the image of the USS New York, © 2011, The Associated Press
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Regarding the attacks: I don’t know if I, or anyone who wasn’t present- on the scene that day- will ever have a good understanding of just how horrific the attack was. Like many Americans, I have my own morbid and ill-logical fascination with the photos and video of the day. I have poured over the frames and broadcasts, trying to understand and comprehend, but I still don’t think it’s possible to truly grasp. The event was just too large to capture how visceral and immediate it all was. It was a day that photography and video failed at its job of properly conveying.
Regarding the people that were on the ground that day: I’ve become friends with many photojournalists who were there, under the towers, trying to get inside to document, and then RunningRunningRunning, stumbling and tripping and gagging and choking when the towers came down. The photo community lost some of it’s members that day, and the subject of what it was like under the towers now seems somewhat taboo in these circles(from my observations). Or maybe I’m ten years late. But even as this day has approached, I’ve only heard my colleagues talk about it in drunken whispers. Even then, they don’t linger long – quickly steering the conversation away from it all. At one point this week, I pointed out to a friend and photog that he made one of the most iconic images of that day. All he said was, “Yea, I don’t know. I don’t think I’ve ever processed it. I don’t have any thoughts on that. We keep our cameras to our face and keep moving.” And then the conversation changed. For people on the ground, they were asked to absorb something too big, something no human should have to witness.

Southern Manhattan from the State Island Ferry

Police officers in the New Jersey

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Regarding the police state and the military: It’s amazing to me how psychologically engrained the culture of fear has become in the US. Police, the military, dogs, mobile surveillance turrets, commando vehicles and police lines have all swarmed around downtown Manhattan like hornets around a nest these past few days. It becomes pretty intimidating. At one point I thought, “Man, I have been walking around for the past few days, and if any one of these police had ever stopped me and told me to do something – even absurd or ill-logical, I would have done whatever they asked in a heart beat, without question.”
But I then I step back and I remember – much too late – without probable cause, don’t the police need a warrant to search you? To ask for you to open your bag or say where or you’re going or why you’re taking a picture? Isn’t this a massive violation of our rights? I know the country received credible threats… but my guess is that most Americans are the same way I am these days. The culture of fear in a post-9/11 world is driven into our psyche, the media amplifies it, and then we find ourselves pacifically participating in giving up freedoms – prepared to do whatever the increasingly present police state requests of us. I don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing. I guess I feel safer. But I do know that I’m ok with being pre-conditioned so much.


A mandatory police stop for all cars the police deem dangerous.


Welding shut man holes on September 9, 2011.

Police guarded many subway entrances

Mobile surveillance turrets. These were surrounding Ground Zero.


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On our response to 9-11: After our counter-attack on Afghanistan, after all our bombs and bullets, after the Taliban was seriously crippled in ’03, why didn’t we concentrate the majority of our efforts on helping improve their infrastructure, or schools, or medical system? Why did we need to bomb the shit out of them more? Didn’t we satisfy an eye for an eye? Why didn’t we spend the next 8 years helping improve Afghanistan as a nation and supporting their culture? Why didn’t we send a flood of teachers and doctors? A recent NYT article points out that for every $1 spent on the attacks, the US has spent $6.6 Million. The most scary thing to me is this: I recently read that a vast majority of rural Afghanis still don’t know what 9-11 is, what happened that day, or why we (counter-)attacked them(forgive me, I don’t remember where I read it). That is terrifying. That means we have potentially terrorized an entire generation of people and conditioned them to view us with more hatred, instead of people who liberated them. It means we are more vulnerable for more attacks. I just don’t see the world as a seriously better place a decade later. Seems like there are a lot of ways that money could have been better spent. I guess that’s the pacifist in me getting the best of me.

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On the state of the world: It’s amazing to me to think about how 9/11 has single-handedly define so much of this past decade, and how it will continue to define this century. The number of lives that wouldn’t have been lost, had it not been for 9/11. What the state of the middle east and central Asia would have been like. The increased and constant security presence throughout the entire Western world. I was talking to a photographer who covered the ’93 WTC bombing, and he said the day after the attack he snuck into the basement to photograph the scene. He said it wasn’t an issue getting around police lines then, to see what things looked like. “But that was a different time, it’s so much different now…”
I know it’s far too big to comprehend.

Arrival of the USS New York. Portions of the hull of the New York is made from iron salvaged from Ground Zero.
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On the memorial ceremony: The ceremony was beautiful. Hearing each and every name read, the short stories behind many of the lives lost, it was incredibly moving. Paul Simon gave me shivers. I think the waterfall structures where the towers once stood are so fitting. As Americans, we are so ready to build up into the sky – but it was a good and right thing to leave those holes hollow. This is a permanent scar in the American landscape.
That said, I can’t help but think of the (hundreds of?) thousands of innocent people the United States has killed in the past ten years with our bombs and our drones and our guns and our men. People who were not the bad guys. Kids who were the the wrong place at the wrong time. People trying to flee Iraq or Afghanistan. I find myself asking: where are their ceremonies? When are their names read? It is such a luxury we have to commemorate the lives we lost on 9/11. I don’t say that as an anti-American statement. I say it as a person interested in remembering all of humanity, not just our nation’s citizens.

A woman ties a ribbon onto the fence surrounding St. Paul’s Chapel, next the Ground Zero.

Mikey Walsh traces his finger over his uncle’s name.




Obama.

Bloomberg.

A memorial in New Jersey






A flag with every victim’s name printed.


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On the media, 10 years later: My sister’s boyfriend told me a few days ago, “you know, the way you all swarm around Ground Zero, the way you constantly pester mourners and victim’s family members – you kind of take away from the sacredness of the site.” And I have to agree. I think we do. From a hypothetical, or altruistic perspective, the media is there to act as flies on the wall, conveying to those who are not present, what is occurring. But all too often, especially in New York, we become a part of the story ourselves. The huge broadcast trucks and shiny-faced men with microphones in their hands and lights following them around, and photographers with 27 cameras hanging off them wandering about asking for names for captions. We take what should be a quiet, holy scene, and turn it into our own circus, starring ourselves. It’s so American.

Broadcast gear sits under tarps on the tenth floor balcony of World Trade Center Two days before the anniversary.


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On the site itself: Everything I’ve written about above, it all comes to a physical manifestation at Ground Zero. The ever-present media and the police and the military and the culture of fear and our fast-twitch shortened attention spans and the mourning and the blood of those 19 men who did this to our country. Ground Zero becomes this hyper-concentrated nexus where all of these concepts swirl about and intertwine in a physical space. It makes you feel so damn small as you try to comprehend it. I hope my photos help.



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Anyway, those are a few of my thoughts. Thanks so much for reading and viewing.
A few songs that have been playing in my head for the last few days. If you have the time, look up the lyrics. I’m a big fan of lyrics and I think all of these songs poke holes into what I’m trying to get at, what I have felt for the past few days.
Tallest Man on Earth – Kids on the Run
The National – Fake Empire
Radiohead – Idioteque
The Decemberists – This is Why We Fight
Iron and Wine – The Trapeze Swinger

A New Yorker headed to a friend’s house on Staten Island for the weekend. Both in fear of an attack, and to avoid the media/police storm.

